Do It Big!

                It has definitely been a good minute since I have written a Woocow adventure but that sure doesn’t mean I haven’t run into any Woocow adventures. I don’t want to be a person who awards himself but I give myself the award for the most epic Woocow thus far. I know my Woocow team has definitely heard of this one but I feel like I should say it again mostly just so I have a story for myself.

                This past summer I was working in Grand Teton National Park, Wyoming as an internship required to get my degree in Restaurant and Hotel Management. While I was in Wyoming I had too many adventures to keep track of. It was an incredible experience working as a chef in a location in the middle of the most beautiful mountain ranges I have seen in my life. On July 28^th 3 other friends and myself came up with the idea to climb 2 peaks in the Teton range, one being Middle Teton followed by a journey up South Teton. We set out to hike up to the saddle in between the two peaks and camp there for the night and wake up the morning of the 29^th and climb the two peaks. We had a pretty late start on our hike as I believe all four of us worked that day. We rented some climbing equipment that day from the town of Moose including crampons and an ice ax but no helmet which might have been a smart idea, but I was a 20 year old man which nothing really bad has happened to me so I was living life to the extreme with 20 years of experience working against me thinking that I was an invincible young man.

                I’d say about 6:00 pm the hiking began. It was an incredible first day with amazing views all around us as we were hiking up to the saddle. By about 9 o clock we passed by the first camping area were we could have camped out but it wasn’t the saddle that we were looking for so we proceeded to climb up further to it. It was getting pretty dark out and the slope that would have gotten us up to the saddle was pretty steep so we put our crampons on and proceeded up the slope. At some point I made it to the far right edge of the couloirs that we were on I looked just to the right of me and saw a solid drop of about 40 feet right next to the edge of the boulder that we were climbing next to, it was very weary being about 1 foot from a 40 foot drop onto solid rock below us. After about a 100 meter climb we found that there was a wall that would not be possible to climb up and over so our next decision was to go back down and climb up one of the couloirs that was to the right of our first attempt. It was working out great at first climbing up it but the problem with mountains is that you don’t really know where you are going until you are up on top looking down. I was ahead of the other three climbers and I thought I saw a nice place where we could set up the tent and camp for the night. I’d say it was approximately 10:30 at this time so it was completely dark out and in the meantime the person I was climbing closest to, Andy, who was nearest the other two climbers, Caleb and Lucas, had heard them say that Caleb was having trouble with his crampons around his boot so they were going to turn around and spend that night camping in the first area that we saw campers sleeping for the night. I felt that me and Andy had gone too far to go back down the slope that we had trekked up so we decided to continue and find this camping spot that I thought we were close to. It turned out that there wasn’t a real camping spot up here but about an hour after I thought I first saw it and we ended up finding the most level area in a mess of rocks and set up our tent and catch a goodnights rest. I’d say it was approximately 11:30 when we had gotten our things all together and were ready for some z’s for the night.

                I would assume the next morning of July 29^th we woke up at about 7:00 am and were ready to get to climbing. Still with no idea where Lucas and Caleb where and Lucas being the one with the most experience on this mountain as he had already climbed the Middle Teton, me and Andy decided to get to work. We found what looked like the right way to make it to the top of Middle which was called the Ellingwood Couloir and began our climb up that way. Several hours after we began we had made it to the summit of 13,804 feet by probably 10:15 that morning, but to be honest it was a little less than exciting because there were two cliffs of about 15 feet that were unclimbable by us. But we had made it to the summit thus far and rejoiced in the experience so we were happy. There were amazing views of both Wyoming and Idaho as the Teton Range was pretty much on the border of the two states. Also at the summit we saw the South Teton that we were going to descend down Middle and climb up South. At some point in the climb up I recall seeing two other guys below us in about the camping spot where we had spent the night. Little did I know that those two guys would literally be saving my life in a few minutes. Making it to the summit and spending a few minutes up there was the last bit that I can remember of that day in my life.

                Apparently as we began our descent down Middle in glissade form which is a controlled slide to make it down faster that climbing back down, something went wrong in my form. My climbing buddy Andy was above me at the time and heard me scream and watched me fall 1200 feet down the couloirs that we had just made it up stopping about 10 feet in front of the two climbers that I had seen when we were on top and just short of a pile of boulders that would have been the end of me if I had made it to them. At some point in my fall I hit a pile of rocks which flipped me down the mountain head first, which obviously is not the proper way to go down a mountain. At some point in my fall I ended up breaking a few bones including my femur, 3 vertebrae in my neck, my pelvis, and my kneecap which apparently fell out of my knee and then cracked in half. Along with these minor injuries the main injury was that I had injured my brain which has caused a few problems in my everyday life but nothing that will slow me down.

                The two climbers that I had seen from the top including a mountain guide and a vet who was up there and by God’s grace were there because when I had made it to the bottom I had snow packed in my throat so I was unable to breathe, luckily they melted the snow so I was breathing on my own. Andy obviously was a little slower in his glissade because he wasn’t sliding down as fast as the mountain would take him but when he had made it down apparently I was also shivering so he knew of the spot where we had camped and left our things and he went down to get our sleeping bags to wrap me up in. Also the mountain guide knew the only spot on the mountain that had some cell phone service so he ran to that spot and called the police department to get a life-flight to rescue me to the bottom of the mountain and then another life-flight helicopter to take me to the Eastern Idaho Regional Medical Center. When I got into the hospital I was in critical condition and immediately put into the ICU. When they first did some tests on me they found that I was a 3-4 on the Glascow Coma scale which ranks people to how much is responding from a 3 which is a dead person with no movements to a 15 which is a perfectly able human like you and me on this day, so I was pretty close to the bottom. Another fun fact about that scale is that 50% of people who have a scale below an 8 die so thank God I was on the positive side of that half and half. I was in a coma for 18 days following this accident. After I came out of the coma I have very few memories of Idaho and apparently I was having full out conversations with people that I have no memories of. Many people who were working with me in Wyoming came to visit while I was in Idaho but I have very little memory of that but I really do appreciate every person who cares about me. My sister who was working at the same hotel that I was working at came to visit as much as possible and I can’t explain how awesome that is and how much I love her because it is a 5 hour round trip from the hotel to the hospital. Also my parents came to see me as much as possible taking off many days of work and spending so much on plane flights and hotel rooms and it is unexplainable how much I love them.

                I put many people in a state that they probably wish that they have never been put in but I am so glad I have so many amazing people who care about me so much. After about a month in Idaho I was transferred on a private Learjet to TIRR Memorial Hermann hospital in the Houston medical center so finally I was back in my home city, but I was far from being home as I spent a month in TIRR followed by two months at Transitional Learning Center in Galveston which is a post acute brain injury center to heal up my brain. I damaged the left side of my brain which is the word generating part of the brain so I will be happy if anyone will be able to read this Woocow but I am trying hard. After getting out of Transitional Learning Center I was able to stay at home again where I am now spending my time. This past weekend which was my 21^st birthday my Mom took me to my old hometown of Lubbock, Texas where I used to go to school at Texas Tech and I got to see all my old friends and my Lubbock family of friends. This group of friends are my most important group of friends. I think I could make it along with a lot of people and be friends with a lot of people but this group I believe is the most perfect to me in the world and I love all of them so much and learning how much they did for me after this could not be beaten by anyone. I am so thankful that Nolan flew down to see me, Kalyn and Courtney took on the 10 hour drive to see me, and Kendra and Kenzie drove down to see me while I was in TIRR and TLC and improved my mood so much.

                The problems that still exist with me is obviously my brain isn’t as smart as it used to be which wasn’t very smart to begin with, I’m not as physically able as I used to be but some physical therapists who have worked with me said that someday I could get back to where I was before the fall, I can’t taste or smell foods which may be a minor problem for a man who was yearning to be a chef, and the major problem these days is that on some days apparently my brain is having minor seizures which is putting me into an alternate reality and it is very scary for me but that will get better for me at some point, but overall I am feeling just like I used to feel except maybe a little better because I am so happy that I am still alive and maybe a little smarter in the aspect that I now realize that bad things really can happen to me.

                So after all this nonsense I have to give a shout out to the good Lord who probably has a few plans for me to improve in the world because He saved me from something nobody should be able to live through. I am so thankful that I am on his side and so happy that He is looking out for me.

                I am very sorry for all the trouble this has caused many people in my life but I could not be happier how it turned out due to the effort that many people put into it as I am not paralyzed from a broken neck, I can still read and write and do everything that I used to be able to do aside from a few physical things but that will come with time, and my brain can still think like it used to.

                I hope this covered about all of my exciting Woocow Adventure but probably not so there will probably be some upcoming Woocows where I can put up some more facts, but I love yall for taking the time to read this novel and if you didn’t read it all then I still love you. 

Metaphor-ing

I miss Ryan Haymaker so much! WOOCOWS! He is getting bigger, better, faster, stronger every day. I think Lubbock misses him almost as much as I do! Here is a story of my adventure today that turned into a humbling message from God. I dedicate this to you Haymaker :)

I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed (read: dragged myself out of bed and chugged coffee) for my 8:00 class. Today, however, I had an interview following the class, so I dressed up in my best suit and plastered on my "Please Give Me A Job" smile. An accurately forecasted day of 50 degrees under an overcast sky greeted me for my morning walk to campus. I enjoyed a fiery morning sky stretching above the stadium, and I thanked God for the beauty in this world. After struggling through class, I caught up with a classmate headed to the same interview location on the other side of the campus. Thus began my public transportation adventure.

I have never utilized the bus system in my entire career as a college student (and after today, I probably will never use it again). The ride was very easy and flawless to the career center with Michael as my escort. I naively thought that I could have the same easy ride home on my own. The ultimate goal was to save time and energy instead of walking. My interview went swimmingly, and I trekked to the bus stop to catch a ride back to Holden Hall where I could catch a bus to the apartment. 

I caught some intense stares from strangers while boarding the bus, but I attributed that to my stunning good looks and my suit. Come to find out, it was most likely because I had "Bloody Idiot" written all over my face. I spent twenty minutes riding around the farthest parts of campus because yes I, Courtney the genius, had gotten on the wrong bus. Eventually, the bus took me to Holden Hall. I thought, YES! It took me a while, but I got to my intermediate destination. 

In high spirits, I grabbed a seat on the bench to wait for the "Special" bus to the apartment. Time slowly ticked by, and I eventually realized that the bus that just left had been by once already. This is when I started to get suspicious. I decided to wait for ten more minutes, just in case. Unsurprisingly, the bus I intended to get on never came. I decided to just walk home after wasting twice as much time as it would have taken to walk in the first place, destroying my goals to save time and energy.

As I walked home, I mulled over the metaphor-ing God was doing through my adventure. 

1)  I thought that I could do on my own what I really could only do with the help of someone who knew what to do. Too often in my walk with Jesus, I overestimate my abilities and take matters into my own hands. I end up frustrated and on the super long scenic route to the intermediate place I needed to go.

2)  I had gotten on a bus that was always intending to go to the right place but through a longer route. After getting to said intermediate location, I lay aside my frustrations and pat myself on the back for getting there on my own accord instead of thanking God when it was His direction all along. 

3) With the best intentions and plans laid out, I sat patiently waiting on the bench for a ride to my ultimate destination. As I waited, I thought that God was teaching me to wait patiently and trust that the bus will come. I WAS WRONG. On my walk home, I realized that the bus was never intended to come where I was waiting. 

How often do we wait with good intentions thinking we are obeying God? How often do we waste time on what we think is the right decision? 

I thank God for humbling me continuously and reminding me that apart from Him, I can do NOTHING. I can't even ride the bus for Pete's sake! 

Thank you God :)

xoxox

ck

Cricket :)

I miss my pony!

<3 Kalyn

Double Dose

Me again! I'll admit it, I am a terrible blogger because I never actually blog, however today y'all get a double dose of ME.

Y'all both know me enough to know that I hardly ever cry. Courtney has seen me cry twice, three times at most. Haymaker, I don't think you've seen me cry. I use to question whether I had a heart or not. I mean, I never cry so could I be heartless? After this summer I am finally able to answer that question and no, I am not heartless.

This summer was a roller coaster of emotions for me. I experienced them all. Happiness. Anger. Sadness. Joy. Between issues with friends, losing a family member, and accidents I experienced them all. Sometimes all four at once. I'm not really sure how that works but it definitely happened- and I cried. But I didn't cry when most people would have cried. Here's an example:

       Haymaker, when I got the phone call about your accident, things were not looking good and they didn't know if you would make it or not, I didn't cry. You may be thinking what the crap does she not care about me?! But I do. I care for you very much and I love you. Earlier I said [I don't cry when most people cry]. I don't think I cried the first week of your accident, but the second I knew you were going to make it I CRIED. You've had your highs and lows and it seems that every time you are in a low I don't cry but when I know you're okay I cry. I'm backwards! I would actually get frustrated at myself when I couldn't cry during your lows. I didn't understand how I could just sit there knowing you weren't doing good and yet not cry a single tear. Hence why I question if I have a heart. After drilling several people with my frustrations on why I didn't cry when I should be crying, my mom offered up a simple explanation. I have a strong heart. (I'm not trying to brag by any means. Shoot, I feel terrible just sitting there seemingly unaffected by trials when other people are crying their eyes out. I can only imagine that they are thinking I am heartless.) My mom believes that God has given me a strong heart so that I can be a pillar of strength and comfort for those around me. Obviously God is the Ultimate Comforter and He longs for us to rush to Him in hurting, but as my mom put it, God uses people to provide comfort.

I'm getting side tracked again.

Anyways. It seems like only now that I know you are going to be okay and after I have provided comfort to some people, that it is my turn to cry. Whenever I hear news of recovery- I cry. When I think about memories we have made- I cry. When I want to talk to you but I can't- I cry. When I think about the miracle God did through you-I cry. When I miss you-I cry.
I AM NOT HEARTLESS! :)!!!

I actually cried right before writing this because I wanted to talk to you so bad but I couldn't. I don't like writing things to you because it upsets me not knowing if you've seen them.

       Courtney and I miss you so much. We've been going to Wild West but it's just not the same without you! You aren't here to sing She's Like Texas with us. You aren't here to admire Courtney's new boots. You aren't here to stay up all night carrying on a conversation with. You aren't here to watch the sunrise with and stare at the stars. You aren't here for adventures.You aren't here for early morning breakfasts. We miss French Fry. We miss the way you scratch your head and make that famous Haymaker face. We miss your daydreams about hunting praire dogs and capturing one as either a pet or food. We miss how you can make anything seem so much more exciting than it really is. We miss the way you do that little hop and clap your hands with excitement. I'll admit, I miss your music (as gay as it may be sometimes)haha. Do you get it? We miss YOU! Here's a big one-- You aren't here to watch football with us. Who will I watch re-runs with? What about Raiderville? and body bags?
       Courtney and I are trying our hardest to make the most out of this but we'd really appreciate it if you'd hurry up on the recovering. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't talk about you. We want you here with us so that we can do all these things together as Woocows. We love you!

-Kalyn

A Glorious Reunion

      Whether we load up into E.V. with her top down, music blaring, or we're cruisin' in the X-mobile, Courtney and I are bound to have a good time. Today we leave Lubbock in the dust towards our first stop, Home, aka Eastland. Not only is it a good half way mark for our journey, but it is my...I mean OUR momma's birthday today. Yes, you read right. OUR momma.
      Rabit trail:  Courtney is the funniest, smartest, wittiest, sweetest, shortest (haha) girl you will ever meet. I could stop right there by saying she is my best friend, but she is more than that. She has worked her way into my heart and has become family. Plus, it's no secret about how bad she wants to be a Williamson.
     Anyways, after a few birthday wishes are exchanged, along with a ton of hugs and kisses from dad and mom, we'll load back up and head for Houston, Texas. Now, in my opinion there's not a whole lot special about Houston. So why are we road tripping there? Why am I so excited about this? Well. Upon arrival in Houston we get to see.....drum roll please....MR. RYAN HAYMAKER! That's right folks, the Woocows will soon be reunited!    

O Glorious Day!!

-Kalyn

Miracles

DAY 18: Aug 15, 2011:
Day Of Miracles!!!! RYAN'S AWAKE AND RESPONDING!!!!!!! He's shaking his head Yes or No, Moving his fingers and feet to command, Eyes wide open and following, and HE EVEN SMILED WITH THE TUBES IN HIS MOUTH WHEN I SHOWED HIM THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS EMBLEM! He is there! Praise the Lord!!! They may remove his tubes & not have to trach him! Sue&Gary


They did take his tubes out of his mouth! Sue & Gary






These are the best words I've ever seen. Our God is so good! He's faithful and powerful. This situation is one that glorifies Him in all aspects. His power and will are so evident in this that He cannot be denied. All the glory is for Him. 


Please continue prayers for further recovery, and thank you for all of the prayers thus far. 


"This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24


xoxoxo
ck

Yeah right?!

Hahaha courtney. I read your Prayer blog and saw this picture, read the caption and literally LOL'd. Your caption was "lending a helping hand" or something of that nature... anyways here is the truth behind the photo. I took this picture during the last Raiderville as Haymaker was STEALING that case of water! Lending a hand?? Yeah right! can you say JACKED!! 

I love both of you so much :) 

-kalyn 

Prayer

Praying without ceasing for the sweetest woocow of all. Ryan Haymaker, please get better now. We love and miss you terribly.

On the left, with friends in Yellowstone

Loves his ukelele

Lending a helping hand

Joyful always

Hiking in Caprock Canyon with the juggernaut

He and I at the twinsies' zebra ranch

This kind of sums up his personality

We love you. Come back home to us soon.

xoxoxo

ck

Patchwork

The patchwork quilt of west Texas spills beneath this plane window,
Forming a different field of dreams with its circles and squares.
This kind of quilt can't be wrapped around you,
Warming your heart on those cold winter nights.
The sharp edges of each block slice deeper into your skin,
Baring slowly the depths of your saddened soul.
Every minute brings you closer to your dreams,
Pulling you further from the only life you've known.
The warm hugs, the sad goodbyes, and the long waves remain,
Echoing in your head like every heavy step you take.
Your heart and your head constantly  compete,
Fighting for the upper-hand in a battle with no winner.
A heavy spirit and lonely hands hold this quilt of memories,
Packing it away until it's time to reveal and remember.

xoxoxo

ck

HERRRREEEE WE GOOOO!

Journal 2

                Working in the kitchen at the Jackson Lake Lodge for such a short amount of time so far has already began to inspire and get me excited about what my plans for my future are. Without really knowing it, my mind has been developing ideas daily about what my future is going to entail. The past week here the executive chef decided to let me work the breakfast buffet in the fine dining area known as the Mural Room. Due to my responsibility as being the chuckwagon breakfast cook three days a week, I only had a few opportunities to work the buffet.

                This part of my internship experience required several tasks of me. The buffet included approximately 10 chafing dishes filled with breakfast foods including eggs, bacon, sausage, French toast, oatmeal, and other options. Also, a big hit on the buffet line is the made- to- order waffle station in which one of the three buffet chefs would pour waffles over an iron with different toppings to put on based on the guests order. There were also fruits, breads, yogurts, and pastries of which the guests could indulge in.

                This job required of me to be at work at 5:30 a.m., and begin preparations for the breakfast. Like I said there were a total of three chefs working the buffet. The two breakfast line cooks would be the ones who would prepare the foods, place them in the chafing dish, and then into the hotbox for us to take out to the buffet when the food was running low or needed replacement. At times, it was difficult for us to get the food out fast enough to supply to the guests. Other more slow times required us to take temperature checks of the foods to make sure they were kept at proper temperature.

                At 9:30, when the buffet would end, we would begin our cleanup process of sending all the dirty chafing dishes, serving spoons, and waffle irons to the dish pit and make sure that we got exactly what we sent back. After the dishes were cleaned, we would begin our preparation work for the next day. This involved us making new waffle batter and getting the cold food items into their serving trays in order for us not to worry about getting these ready the next day when they would be served to customers.

Today

Today, life is crazy, life is good, and life is crazy good.

I love my job.
I love my coworkers.
I love my plant.
I love hearing my boss (and sometimes even his boss) say "good job!"
I love making people laugh.
I love putting a smile on his face.
I love encouraging words.
I love small, thoughtful actions.
I love sweet friends.
I love having plans to look forward to.
I love the way God loves me.
I love that He's there for my friends when I'm not (I'm so sorry pookie!).
I love that He calls me back when I run away.
I love loving on people.
I love my life.


"This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalms 118:24


xoxoxo,
ck

Suckfest.

Heart aches suck. that is all.

-kalyn

homeworkssssss

Even though I will be coming back to Lubbock sometime in October, I will actually be a student in the Fall semester. I am taking 2 hours of a required class that goes along with my internship. For this class, I must write 10 weekly journals of my experiences that I am learning while on the job. So I have decided that, since I have to write them for my class I migght as well just post them...enjoy!

Journal 1

            It has been about 1 month since I first arrived in Jackson Hole, Wyoming and began my experience working in the Jackson Lake Lodge as a Culinary Intern. Because this internship is longer than the usual 10 week 400 hour internship, I have chose this time to begin my weekly journals considering I have approximately 12 weeks left.

            I have been rotating to different workplaces around the kitchen. My first few weeks here, the executive chef had me assisting in the production kitchen that is used to put together large quantities of food for either banquets or the 3 daily meals that are served to the roughly 300 employees. This work consisted of lots of repetitive work like chopping, slicing, dicing, and basically being able to put to use many knife skills.

            Another job that I was assigned to required me to plate approximately 250 of the nightly amuse-bouche for the fine dining restaurant, “The Mural Room.” This process was also very tedious and monotonous as I had to carefully piece together a small bite of food for the estimated cover number that we would be expecting nightly.

            Two weeks ago, Executive Chef Vishu assigned me the responsibility of being the cook for a chuckwagon breakfast that our hotel would offer. The guests will ride a horse drawn wagon to an offsite location, where my assistant and myself will greet them with a hearty breakfast of eggs, pancakes, potatoes, ham, and coffee.  Myself along with an assistant must arrive at 5:00 am to begin the preparation for this as we load up a company truck with all the necessary items to make the guests happy. We receive a radio call shortly after arriving at the site saying how many guests there will be on that day and when they will be expected to arrive. Based on that information I begin preparing the meal so the guests will be greeted with a warm breakfast. This attraction occurs 3 times weekly.

I love ya'll, Ryan Hayshaker!

Let It Happen

                It’s been long enough where I think I have enough stories to make up a pretty good blog. What took place in my life this past weekend was a life changing experience for myself and it began a chain event of things stirring in my mind.

                I got off for the weekend and decided it was about time to go on an adventure. I have yet to go to Yellowstone so I came to the conclusion that I would find a way to get up there. I packed all my things together in my pack and everything that I needed, or so I thought, for a couple nights of not knowing where I would be headed. I was by myself along this journey. As I’ve learned from past experiences, I know that I enjoy spending time in my own thoughts so that everything that I was doing was based on my own opinion, which is something that comforts me very much.

 I started my hike alongside the road that was headed north into Yellowstone. Alongside the road for about 2 hours, I figured I had hiked about 6 miles so far when a car rolls by coming to a stop beside me. Without looking, a voice I’ve never heard before asks me if I need a ride. Hesitating for not more than a few seconds I mutter a “sure,” and hop in his vehicle. His first question was asking where I was headed. Not knowing myself, I turn the question around and ask where he was headed. He told me that he had just brought some hitchhikers down from Montana through Yellowstone and Grand Teton to the town of Jackson and was on his way back up through Yellowstone to make it to Montana, where his journey began. This seemed to coincide perfectly with my plans because for all I knew I just wanted to make it into Yellowstone.

I recalled a campground that I stayed in when I went up to these parts of the world when I was a little youngster called Norris Geyser Basin and figured that would make for a good time, so since it was on the way, that’s where I’d be headed.

The guy who had picked me up was named Gene and appeared to be about 23 and we shared some great conversation on the way up there. Talking about things like making the most out of life, going places without knowing where you’re headed, making stories and just letting life happen. Basically, the conversation got me pretty stoked to be doing what I’m doing this summer.

A couple hours later we made it to the campground area and was struck with the first news of misfortune. CAMPGROUND FULL said a sign at the entrance in bold letters. Oh well, I said he could drop me off anyways. I had everything I needed to survive; tent, sleeping bag, a very small amount of food, green tea, and a small stove. I was looking at the bulletin board reading some information when an older man came over to me and saw that I was in need of a campsite. He told me that I could use the site that he was staying at because he was just going to be sleeping in his van for the night. We shared a campfire and talked a bit about what was going on in our lives. He was just going on a road trip by himself and doing things that he used to do in his youth. I pulled out a can of chili and heated it up on my stove and he offered me several slices of bread noticing that I was a little short on food. I set up my tent in the dark and put all my things in the bear box. There also was zero cell service in the remote part of the world that I was in but there were pay phones so I scrambled to find 4 quarters and call my folks to tell them of my plans. OH, and I just remembered that when we were driving into the campground, about 100 yards off the road, we were fortunate enough to have just caught the last of a wolf hunting down an elk and ripping it to pieces…AWESOME!

Okay, I’m going to let you know what I packed for food which was one of two large mess ups on the trip. Also if you know much about me, you might just know that food is near the top of my list of favorite things ever, and I eat lots of it. Anyways before leaving, I had packed 4 apples, an orange, a can of chili, and 5 granola bars… not a hint of what I needed to survive for two days in the wild. By the first morning, I had gone through the can of chili, 2 apples and 2 granola bars.

I went for some hiking that day and saw some things that were absolutely wild; I felt at times that I was walking on another planet, seeing the geysers and mud holes and hot springs. At the gift shop, there was no food or phone service still but I did come across a soda vending machine and bought the tastiest Dr. Pepper that I had ever consumed. Watch out Dublin! I sat on a bench looking at the basin sipping my soda and my mind was filled with memories of all the good times and bad times that made me who I am thus far, which I think deserves another blog someday.

After eating “breakfast” that morning, I packed up all my things and stuck my pack in the bear box so I wouldn’t have to haul it all day. I came back to the campground at about 4:30 only to find that the campground was full again except for the hiker/ biker sites so I wandered over there and picked up the last spot. There was another older man already settled in, who I assumed to be about 60 who had a fully loaded bike with panniers and luggage racks anywhere you could fit them. I introduced myself and asked him his plans. He told me that he was on a solo cross country cycling trip. I thought this was the coolest thing I had heard and with some other recent events am thinking this is something that will take place in my life someday. He was making it from Eugene, Oregon to Boston, Massachusetts in about 5 months. After a little talking, he was kind enough to offer me some Fig Newton’s which I had no problems accepting.

About an hour after I arrive, two brothers come into camp and find no other sites, so decided that I would not mind sharing mine. We introduced ourselves and learned their stories. They were from Israel, but lived in Tennessee and the older brother was moving to San Francisco for a job and they were just making a road trip of it. They had previously gone on all sorts of adventures including 5 month backpacking trip of South and Central America and it sounded awesome! Since the 4 of us were in close quarters that night, we spent the night telling stories around a campfire that we had built. The brothers, Daniel and Roy said they had extra spaghetti, which again had no problem accepting. We made s’mores and had a few sips of what the brothers claimed to be the best Bourbon in Tennessee. Some awesome and hilarious stories were told and after realizing that a late night had turned into an early morning, we put in the towel for the night about 1:30 a.m.

The next morning, I was awoken by what I thought were the footsteps of the brothers walking around. I unzipped my tent and was shocked by my misjudgment. There was a 2000 pound bull bison grazing on the grass 7 feet away from my tent. I stared in awe wondering if the beast would be frightened by appearance and charge me. The brothers were awake as well and were motionless inside their tent staring at the animal. We waited a few moments until the bison had eaten the worthwhile grass in our site and moved on. We then wearily crawled from our tents and told stories of our near death experience in which we 4 had turned out unscathed.

The brothers brought a pot of water to a boil and made us some Turkish coffee to start our days. We all shook hands and got information about Michael’s cross country trip that he writes on a blog.  http://www.crazyguyonabike.com/doc/page/?o=1r4vFZo&page_id=214889&v=3b&part=2  We all walked down the path only to find the bison in our way between the road and us, with no way around it. A women had also found interest in the bison and felt like getting a close look to take pictures. The 4 of us commented on how ridiculous she was being and without any warning, the bison instantly turned its head for the women and began a short charge directly at her. The women instinctly went into survival mode and hid behind a tree that was close enough and the bull went back to its grass. As were we all, the women seemed very shaken up by the event and probably headed to the restroom to clean up an explosion in her shorts after that experience.

The next part of the story explains the second mess up of the trip. So calling people and keeping in touch with people on this journey was difficult because I had to use pay phones that of which were rather expensive, so my calls were sparse. The only plan before this trip was that I would be in Yellowstone and my sister would pick me up in her car and we would venture around the park. Well in order for that to work, she had to know when and where to pick me up from. I called her and told her to pick me up at 10:00 a.m. at Norris Geyser Basin. I thought this was a great plan that would work flawless. However, myself not being clear enough on the phone, my sister had mistook “Norris” for “North.” When I realized that 10:00 had come and gone and the time was nearing 11:00, I knew there was a problem. I tried to connect to my sister but she was on her way to “North” geyser basin with no phone service either. Well, eventually we figured it out after lots of profit going to the payphone and time wasted. We ended up enjoying the rest of the day doing some sightseeing and getting a gross quantity of food for myself to consume.

That was about the events that took place in my life the past weekend and am so glad that I have this experience to tell and talk about.

               

Abandon

From my balcony, I can see an abandoned movie theater. Tinseltown stands like sad, proud solider, full of untold stories of times not too long ago. As I ran past the building tonight, I was in awe of its beauty and grace. There's something stunning about an abandoned structure.

These photos are a visual representation of what my heart looks like, and I'm sure many others' look the same.

We've all been abandoned. Maybe it was a parent, a sibling, a significant other, a friend. Maybe it was intentional on his or her behalf, or maybe it wasn't. Regardless, there isn't a feeling in the world like the hurt that comes with the view of tail lights, whether they are literal or figurative. For some, this hurt grows like a cancer that spreads beyond the heart into every nook and cranny of every breath. 

I've been there before, stranded in the dark depths of gloom. It wasn't something that I chose for myself, and the struggle to overcome the pain was long and desperate:

Lights. Camera. Action.

here
we
gooooooo.

falling, falling.
head over heels.
tumbling, sprialing through darkness.
searching. reaching. for something, anything.

nothing.

head swimming. chest pounding. heart racing. 
gasping. can't breathe.
eyes fly open as consciousness attacks.

grip the bed like it's going to make this go away.
stupid girl.
cling to reality, but nothing trumps this nightmare.

it's far too real to escape.
consuming. frightening. 
lasting.
beyond REM this haunts you.

brush your teeth.
comb your hair.
close your eyes.
and still it's there.
always there.

walk to class.
pretend to learn.
it's inside of you.
a slow, painful burn.
the undying fire.

you always wanted a flame inside.
driving you.
fueling you.
but passion, not this.
be careful what you wish for.

fight it.
screaming. 
thrashing.
agony.
silence.

a sigh of relief.
it's finally gone.
smile just a bit bigger.
breathe just a bit easier.
sleep just a bit better.

until it comes back worse than ever.
taunting you.
mocking you.
will it ever leave?

start running.
poor child, always fleeing from the torture.
off you go.
to the barren wasteland that offers no help.
head in your hands.
collapse from the weight of it bearing down on you again.
find the strength to keep going.
please.

please.

it's less of a bonfire, more of a chemical spill.
call the haz-mat man.
he's coming but not fast enough.
racing the noise.
can you hear it?
thud. thud.
thud.

thud.



thud.
stop. listen.
hear the sound of a breaking heart.

There was a physical aching in my heart every second that I was awake, and I couldn't sleep for the fear of having another night terror. I was abandoned.

As I'm writing this, George Strait is in the background singing,

How could you go what you gone and done to me? I wouldn't treat a dog the way you treated me.

and

But when they do you like that, what can you do but go on?

Indeed, life does go on, but it seems to go on without you. I felt like the old theater- abandoned for all to see while destructing slowly but surely.

Looking out into the Louisiana night, I still see the landscape of my heart stretching from my window. The theater has faded into darkness, but glowing behind it are three tall crosses bathed by spotlights. These crosses rise from beyond the interstate for all to see. Their presence and light are the focus of the surroundings. God emerges from the ever present, constantly occurring darkness to stand behind the abandoned Tinseltown. 

The story of my heart reads exactly the same. When I can't see for the blinding pain, the persistent darkness, the painful reality, He is there to shine His light:

i sit here alone in the middle of this dark and empty room.

as the shadows swallow me whole, the pain begins to explode.

i rub my eyes full of dirt and slash the soles of my feet to keep me from going back there.

it bubbles just below the surface like acid ready to destroy.

the question is how can you ruin what is already damaged?

in quiet agony i hide the disastrous storm raging inside.

silent screaming, my plea for help, muffled by my straining smile.

torture reigns inside, pulling left, right, left, right. tearing me to shreds.

i lie to believe that this will all be okay and that it'll all fade away into the night.

as dawn breaks, my eyes burn not with the horrors of the world,

but instead with the terrors rampaging my mind, leaving a wake of destruction.

my surfing skills are lacking, and i haven't swam in years.

so here i am desperately drowning in a failed attempt to keep my head above water.

a weak and melancholy arm is outstretched toward the ever vanishing surface.

a patient hand reaches down to pull me from the depths of darkness caving in.

breathing life into me, He forever surrounds my unworthiness with His love and grace.

my lifeless eyes gaze blankly at His compassionate face.

ducking my head in shame, in pain, i turn around and run away.

pushing aside the only one who can seal the cracks of my shattered heart.

a million tiny shards cut the tender hands of the one who sacrificed it all.

through the tears and blood, He perseveres to give me everything.

the last thing i see as my tired eyes close is the sight of His forgiveness.

He carries me to safety, to a place He can teach me a life i've never known.

a life i cannot expect to be easy enough to handle on my own.

a life of new beginnings, full of lessons to be learned, tears to be cried, and battles to be won.

a life consumed by Him passionately pursuing my bruised and broken heart, worthless as it is.

a life of striving to be more like Him, dying to live in Him, and loving as He loves me.

"[The King], the one who adopted me as His own, doesn't force His presence on me... He takes what is given." He's patiently waiting in the wings for you to run into his arms after your performance, no matter whether you had a grand finale, an embarrassing fall, or an absent partner.

"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20

So when the darkness comes, follow George's advice, look toward Jesus, and baby run.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

ck

Stillness

"He says, 'Be still and know that I am God.'" Psalm 46:10a

I've been praying for guidance and direction, for His will and His plans. Well guess what? He answered. In the stillness of my apartment, God's words echoed loudly, and He put two distinct images in my heart.

The first image was of a hunter in a deer blind on a crisp fall morning. The hunter has to prepare his equipment the night before, wake up early, and drive to the ranch. After all this effort, he then has to sit patiently and quietly until the moment arrives. In this waiting, the stillness of the morning sets in. This is what the hunter has dreamed of, what he lives for. There's a calm excitement building as he knows the animal is approaching. His senses are alive knowing that his destiny awaits.

The second image was of a fisherman, rising with the sun to embark upon his voyage. The purple, orange, and pink sherbet hued sky is a backdrop for the serene ocean that stretches before him. A fisherman must be patient, waiting to discover the wonders that lay below and in front of him. The stillness of the water speaks quietly of the adventure to come. He doesn't know where the waves will take him, but he is sure that he will be where he needs to be.

God has plans for me, but He will reveal them in His time. I have never been more confident of this. I am a hunter, I am a fisherman, and I am a child of God. The stillness in my heart only tells of adventures to come. 


"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the LORD, 'and will bring you back from captivity.'" Jeremiah 29:11-14a

Praise God for He is good!

xoxox
ck

SKYPE!

I MUST SKYPE BOTH OF YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!! I HAVE TO MUCH TO SAY TO WRITE IT ALL DOWN!

-KAY

Father's Day

I want to wish a Happy Father's Day to a few very special men:

Vic Kastner: my dad is the best. Obviously #1 in the whole world. I miss him a lot, and I wish I was home so I could celebrate this day with him!

Grandpa: the wisest, most knowledgeable grandfather I could ever ask for. 2000 miles away, but always the voice in my head giving the best advice.

Jerry Williamson: my other dad, and Kalyn's father. He is a wonderful man with an awesome mustache and an incredible man.

Poppa Hay: Haymaker's dad. He has a great son, and I'm sure he is an equally great man.

The father of my future children:

A picture says a thousand words, and all I can say is "HOT DANG- our kids will be gorgeous!"

Last, but definitely not least, a Happy Father's Day to our Father above. An unconditional love is poured out for us from the Heavens. He is the Father of Fathers, the King of Kings. How blessed am I to be the daughter of an incredible earthly father and the ultimate Heavenly Father!!

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

xoxox
Courts

Inspired

"Live, I want to live inspired. Die, I want to die for something higher than myself. Live and die for anyone else. The more I live I see this life's not about me."

Occasionally, I feel incredibly inspired and small bits of poetry flow from my fingertips. Here are some of my favorites:

The city lights shine bright
With the eager anticipation of youth
Spilling hope that falls to pieces
Against the hardness of the world
A million miles above, the world seems so far
Reality hits hard when you only know how to fall
A familiar smile picks you up and rights the wrongs but
The pull on your heartstrings reminds you of
Things that never were and may never be
For a moment you allow yourself to fold into the shadows
To do what you shouldn't and breathe him in
In a dizzying stagger back into the light
You tell yourself never again will you think of this
Until you stand beneath the starless night sky
Remembering that the city lights shine bright
With the eager anticipation of youth
Spilling hope that falls to pieces
Against the hardness of the world

The blisters on my feet remind me where I've been and
The scars covering my hands remind me what I've done but
In this midnight rain I will dance and I will sing
The raindrops fuse with the tears on my skin like
Watery memoirs of hope and happiness and
The new life that springs up from my darkest days
A phoenix rising from the ashes with wings of victory




Thoughts roll through my mind like the storm across the sky, but none of this is as beautiful as you. Your smile lights up a room like a flash of dazzling lightning. Each raindrop lands as a tender kiss falling from your sweet lips. And in the rolling, booming thunder I hear every laugh we've ever shared. The growth that springs eternal from this summer rain is but a fraction of the love that we discover every day. 

xoxoxo

ck

Prayer

I ask you, brothers and sisters, to keep me in your prayers.

I have many decisions I will be making in the next 12 months that are kind of important. I'll decide what to do after graduation (spring '12), where to live, what church to attend, etc. I don't feel ready to make these decisions. I feel young and vulnerable, like my life is flying by too quickly. What happened to college and late nights and junk food and sleeping in? I pack a sandwich for work every day, get in bed by 9:30 pm, and wake up at 5:15 am. I am barely able to talk with many of my friends because our schedules are completely opposite. I'm 600 miles from my parents and 800 miles from my college family. And if I decide to go to grad school, there's a good chance I'll be twice as far away.

There are things that I absolutely love about the working life though. I can come home from work and relax. There's not piles of homework and pages of studying waiting for me after a day of classes. I am on a more regular schedule, eating better, and working out more. I have every other Friday off, which means 4 day weeks and 3 day weekends twice a month. And the Fridays I do have to work, my paycheck makes it enjoyable. The food down here is incredible. I can get shrimp for $4/lb. The people are hometown friendly with Southern hospitality, and that reminds me of home. The company I work for is incredible, successful, challenging, and encouraging.


Then come the decisions of the heart. As I'm far removed from my friends and my family, I find myself missing these people. I have started to meet people, so maybe this will subside a bit, but it is to be expected.

I miss my mother, but she calls enough that it's not too bad. I miss my daddy, and I wish I could be there with him for Father's Day! I miss Kyle, so we talk on the phone about how he's hacking his wii to run linux on it. I miss my college family, and my woocows in particular. I miss Dustin, and envy his energy for full-time work. I miss Emmy, even though she's a gaggie now. I miss Jason, and we text enough to make up for it. I miss Mack, but hopefully she'll get to see me after kamp. And there are many, many others that I miss.

I miss one guy more than I ever expected though. He is a sweet, solid guy who makes me laugh and encourages me with sweet words. I find myself having a zillion things I want to talk about and share with him. I think about what it would be like if we dated. And I wonder if he feels the same way.

Pray for me, friends. For guidance and direction, mostly. I would ask to pray for good looks, but we all know I already have that in abundance.
:)


Pray for me, as I pray for you.


"I always thank God for you because of His grace given you in Christ Jesus." 1 Corinthians 1:4
"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy." Philippians 1:3-4
"We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you." Colossians 1:3
"He says, 'Be still, and know that I am God.'" Psalm 46:10a


xoxo
c

I Have Ran Out of Ideas for Titles but the Woocows are Plentiful

As the story goes, I have been in Wyoming now for approximately a week. The one thing that I have found to love about this place is its beauty. I’ve been a place or two in my lifetime and I would have no choice than to put this up on the list of beautiful places; probably up at the top.

Today, after getting off work, I went for a short hike to stare the Teton Range in its face. Looking out over the Willow Flats to the base of the mountains, I noticed several herds of elk roaming around and let me just say it was awesome! The sun was setting just beyond the mountains and it felt so calm. This spawned the idea to sit and relax, maybe even read a book out in the wild. I reach into my back pack and stumble upon the bible.

To change stories a touch, the past week that I have been here, something that I have noticed is come evening time when everyone is off work there is not much for employees to do considering the closest town is about 40 miles away. As young adults, most of whom are over the age of 21, it is a natural instinct to grab a drink. I however have yet to reach that valiant age, and the laws in Wyoming are rather strict. Under most circumstances, I would try many things to sneak under this law, however since I have been here, and in my recent past, drinking has not been as great a priority in my life as it once was. Anyways, while most of the employees who live in the employee village like to “loosen up” at night, I have been partaking in much personal pondering. I have been trying not to get involved in their activities, not only for the fact that I could get in large quantities of trouble but because as a Christian, underage drinking is slightly frowned upon. As much as I would like to get involved with this, each and every time I do drink the guilt overwhelms me.

 Back to where I was pulling my bible out of my pack, my reading for the day included Judges Chapter 3. Verses 1- 11 seemed pretty fitting to my situation. It is saying that the Lord tested the Israelites by putting them in a place of much temptation and seeing how well they hold up. Well they didn’t do so hot and bad things happened to them. I do not want that to be me. Soon this chapter will be renamed “Ryan Haymaker in Wyoming”. I’m not trying to say that drinking is always wrong because honestly there is a memory or two that probably wouldn’t be there if the substance wasn’t there, but at this strange and interesting time in my life, I will try my hardest to avoid the temptation.

                                                       Hope everyone is doing swimmingly! Love ya’ll, Haymaker